The Lo Down Podcast, Episode 6

It's so hard to believe that this is only our sixth episode. If you've been following along each week or even if you've only listened to bits and pieces, you've probably seen that we talk about a LOT of stuff. Like, a lot lot. We don't talk about MMA too much, although it gets brought up sometimes, and we don't stick to singular themes either. It's sort of a seven degrees of Kevin Bacon situation or a good Dave Barry post - we start with one topic, it snowballs into everything that topic reminds us of, and a lot of times we come full circle and finish up with a thought from the original topic.

Basically, what I'm saying is, our podcast is schizophrenic. And whether you've listened to just one of our episodes or even listened to six, thank you- from all of the many personalities here at Ash and Tommy, Inc.




This week we started off with good news in our Lo and Rejoice segment. Tommy's topic was a hero in an Eagles jacket who lept down onto dangerous SEPTA tracks to save a man after a fall. Some people freeze, some people run away, some people decide to just stand there. Not our hero, though. Charles Collins jumps in like a boss.

My choice this week wasn't so much about heroes in the moment of crisis; my choice was about two quiet heroes who take care of things many people will never notice. Jia Haixia and Jia Wenqi are two remarkable men in northeastern China who plant around 1,000 trees a year, and to date have planted around 10,000. While that's remarkable in it's own right, both men face extraordinary challenges: Haixia was born blind in one eye and lost sight in his other eye in 2000 in an accident. Wenqi lost both arms in an accident at 3 years of age. They've leased 8 acres of land and now plant trees to help protect the area from flooding.

And naturally, as we talked about everyday heroes, our topic turned to Nicholas Cage. How does he make so many movies? Is he a rogue time traveler?

And what about superheroes? Are those glasses really fooling anybody, Clark Kent? We know that's your chin, Bruce Wayne. Gwen Stacy...Mary Jane...you honestly can't tell that's Peter Parker? Really?

The Nicholas Cage conversation led us to the question: what's your favorite "guilty pleasure" movie? What movie do you really enjoy that other people make fun of, refuse to watch, or just really hate? Tommy used Snake Eyes as his example, because....Nicholas Cage.

I chose Kalifornia because quite frankly I freeze under pressure and it was the best thing I could come up with at the time. To be fair, it was a very entertaining (to me) film that didn't do well theatrically, so I win. Everything. Life. Your car. It's all mine now. You're welcome. If you've never seen either of those movies, go watch them. Or just look at the poster, listen to our podcast, and you'll pretty much figure out everything you need to know.

Tommy and I love movies. Between us, we've seen every movie ever made, even underground indie movies that have never been professionally produced. We are kind of like the raccoons of the movie world - we'll eat ANYTHING.

I mean, watch. Watch anything. (PS Got any Pop-Tarts?)

Some people though, they get genuinely angry over "bad" movies. "NO" they shout as you play Transformers: Dark of the Moon for the 37th time. "NO HOW COULD YOU DESTROY THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF CINEMATIC PERFECTION BY VIEWING SUCH INANE MATERIAL?" and then they likely file their nails and work on gazing at the horizon in a far more superior manner than you yourself could ever gaze. They refuse to watch movies that aren't Academy Award material or directed by guys who only speak Portuguese even though they were born and raised in Illinois. If you are one of those people, please tell me now so that I never try to watch a movie with you. Because I will watch Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly and I will Laugh. My. Ass. Off. I'm not a movie snob or a book snob. I'll read Chuck Palahniuk and follow it up with Judy Blume. I don't care. JUDGE ME BRO.

So even though we're not snobs, we do have movies that we maybe don't care for, wouldn't watch again, or have been traumatized by. You know what traumatized me? This:

If you don't know what this is, good for you. SPOILER ALERT: it's Kurt Russell drowning in Poseidon and it's horrifying. It's one of the most unsettling drowning scenes in films and it makes my stomach hurt.

Drowning is pretty bad, but know what else about water is scary? Freakin everything. Tommy brings up the fact that humans have only explored 5% of the ocean - and I think we can all agree that the 95% we don't know about is going to be a million times worse than what we DO know about, which is sharks, jellyfish, giant squids, alligators, the Half Life monster, and Cthulhu.

Oh Cthulhu. H. P. Lovecraft, you wonderful horrible man. Your brilliant/demented mind led generations of people to give us their own take on Cthulhu, like this little gem:

I mean, can you honestly even right now? CAN YOU EVEN? Is it possible to even after viewing this picture? Because I can't even. Here, let me fix that for you:

OK, whew. That was a close one. But....RIGHT? The ocean is a vast, unknown expanse that we know pretty much nothing about. So you know what we should do? Hey I've got it! Let's send people to space! It's like someone giving up three questions in on a 500 question math test and tackling a physics exam. I know nothing about this topic so I'll just pretend to go master this topic instead. 

Moral of the story? Never leave your house. Better yet, don't even leave your bed. Just sit there. Right there. Wherever you are, stay there and wait for the next podcast. You're better off, I promise. It's not like you'll ever be the best at anything. 

You'll never be The Rock.

But you know what? That's OK. It's fine. Just don't be Westboro Baptist Church and you'll do alright. 

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